Random thoughts

So as most know... I LOVE Oprah. I watch it everyday, and when I'm not home to watch it, I tape it. The new shows have started for 2007 and most have been alright, until Thursday.... it was about being 30 something in the US. Since I'm that age I was more then interested about watching it. The first segment was with 3 single women who were out in the dating scene....2 never had been married and the third was divorced. I could relate to a lot of what they were saying...... about getting into the dating scene. Granted I'm off the market now, but still I could see their woes and concern. next segment was about a woman, who was Muslim. she was in traditional dress, had been married since she was 16 and it was even an arranged marriage..... she happened to even be born in the US. It seemed strange to me, in this day and age that arranged marriages go on but then again.... I know it happens in really religion Jewish communities also. Anyway, she talked about how she and her family live a very traditional home life and how she is a fitness trainer....she wears her full dress even when working out. She talked about how her clients are at first a little stand-off ish but soon see that she is a good trainer. next up was a woman who was 37 and had 8 children, she had been married for almost 20 years..... she has kid ranging from 19 to 3. I personally thought it was crazy... but hey to each their own. Oprah was even a little surprised when she asked if they were done having kids and the woman said... she didn't know.... they are not doing anything to stop having kids... ie....birth control.
The last segment is the one that really got to me.... it was a woman who was 32 and having problems with getting pregnant and staying pregnant.... she has tried everything, even IVF... nothing has worked. Oprah said like a lot of people have told her.... it will just happen, maybe you need to take a vacation. But this woman told her it doesn't work that way. She would never get pregnant or stay pregnant without the help of doctors.....she talked about how she would get so upset when she heard people say those things to her... she felt almost like less of a woman. It made me think of Rands and all her problems that she was having with getting pregnant.... and I know people said that to her too. I know that she is so strong that she just kept going, she is so determined that she would get it done no matter what. This lady on Oprah seemed to be the same way... until she said she felt like less of a woman, cause she couldn't have a child without help. All I could think was there are million of women who don't have children, whether is it by choice or by whatever. Does that make them less of a woman too? I'm not sure what to think, since at this time in my life I'm not sure I want to be a mom or have kids ever. I guess I will see what the future will bring.
Subject change..... So as you know our family loves our dogs.... they are like little humans with fur.... and 4 legs. So Murray ( my parents dog) is sick... he decided to eat a whole pan of brownies.... and now is in the doggie hospital.... very very sick. It got me to think how attached we are to him.... as everyone was sitting around the dinner table, talking out losing him for good. Even Howie started to cry.... and he never gets emotional...... But Murray is doing better then he was yesterday, so hopefully he is on the track to good health and can come home soon.
Last but not least... I need to talk about last night's dinner... we had TUNA NOODLE CASSEROLE... now you think that wouldn't be anything big. but at the parents and with The mother cooking.. it is. Since Howie doesn't like Tuna in it. Which then makes me think it is not really tuna noodle casserole... but he seems to think so. Anyway in the best I have been suckered into coming over for the dish only to find no TUNA in it...... but this time was different. I watched The mother and Rands make it.... so I knew it would be good. I was the best, just like I remembered it... plus there was extra... for me to take home....for leftovers tonight!

First Mysteries over!

Well the first of the 2 babies has been revealed. A.B. and Big L are having a boy...... my brother can not be more excited. He called me last night after their doctor's appointment, and I could tell that he was over the top with happiness. They had told Rands and The Beau, but we going to surprise The Mother with it.... by getting some new yarn for her to knit them a baby blanket. I thought it was a cool idea...... and she will be ecstatic too. Now we just have to wait till the end of today maybe to find out what Rands is having..... hopefully it will be a girl.... so that there will be one of each.... but either way it will be fun. Last night Skinny and I got to talking about starting to shop for the babies.... and he wants to wait.... I'm just glad I have someone else to shop for now.... so I'm chopping at the bit to go to the mall. I have promised I will wait till Saturday, when we are out and about.... it will be hard not to sneak over to a store or 2 in the next couple of days.
On a different front.... my teeth are still killing me. I got the braces tighten last week and they put on some new brackets in the very back of my mouth.... well they are now rubbing up against the back of my jaw and cheek. So everytime I open or close my mouth the braces scrape. I have eaten more soup, pasta and soft food in the last week, then I can to think about. i can only imagine what it will be like when I have the surgery. But i keep reminding myself that it is for a good cause and I will feel so much better when it is all done in the end. I guess there is on upside to this RIGHT NOW..... I have lost 3 more pounds....so at least that is in my favor.
What else can I tell you about? Oh yeah..... so on Tuesday I made dinner for everyone at my place.... and it was good. I have told you since Skinny and I started living together, I have been cooking most week nights. But in the past I really didn't cook a lot and especially for my family. Because of one incident 5 years ago. I had been living in my place for a few months and decided it would be a good idea to have everyone over. At that time it was just The Mother, Howie, Rands, The Beau and A.B., i decided on a menu of veggie lasgana, salad, bread and for dessert, short cake tarts and fruit. So to make it easier on myself I bought a frozen lasgana,instead of making it from scratch. I thought I had cooked it all the way but as i served it and everyone started eating... it was till frozen in the middle. It turned out that I read the directions for cooking when the dish was full thawed, not forzen. So there was a lot of microwaving of the plates. Then to make matters worse... when I served the dessert the fruit and tarts were molding. So that was the last time I cooked for my family... and let me tell you... they reminded me of it all the time. So that brings us up to Tuesday night.... American Idol was starting,so I invited Rands, The beau, A.B. and Big L. over for dinner. I again made lasgana...meat this time and cooked it extra to make sure it was done. Everything actually turned out right..... so now they can stop teasing me about my past mistakes.

UPDATE!!!!!!!!!
So we thought we would find out what Rands and The Beau are having... but it will be another 4 week wait...... MAN!!!! I guess I will have to put my shopping on hold for awhile longer.

Wedding dreaming

So with all of A.B.'s wedding stuff over, I thought life would start being normal. I was settling into the new year just fine, when over the weekend I had the strangest dream, it was a wedding dream, where Skinny and I were getting married. It was like a movie... going thru the whole process,from picking a dress to a shower and then the actual wedding. Now I have had these kind of dreams in the past but since last year when we had to stop planning the engagement and everything, they really have not bee that frequent or as vivid. I have thought about getting married, but it was always in the back of my mind, something far off till the situation with Skinny was resolved. Don't get me wrong I still look at the bridal magazines and web sites.... thinking about the dress and everything.... but it has just been a "dream" something in the future. I figure the more information I have the easier it will be to put things together. Anyway getting back to this dream i had the other night. It was so real... i mean down to me waking up and thinking..."am I married???? or not?" So i said something to Skinny about it and he just kind of looked at me like I was crazy and said... " it will happen soon enough". So I kind of just put it in the back of my mind again. Well then Skinny called me last night and we got to talking about everything... and he said he was thinking about getting married a lot lately.... and that he is going to make a huge effort to make it work this year or at least get engaged. I was in shock...... I mean with everything that is going on with the Fort and not knowing when he will be coming home exactly.... he is thinking about getting engaged. So I told him that we will see how the next couple of months go...... since I don't want to get my hopes up.... even though secretly I was jumping for joy. He talked about how, when he saw my brother up there with Big L.... he wished it could have been us... how he knows if he hadn't made a lot of mistakes, it would have been us there. I agree with him, but I know that things happen for a reason, and our relationship is so much better now. I won't want to be in the situation we were a year ago..... I'm not even sure we would have gotten married if it was the same.
Once I hung up the phone with him.... I really started to think that it might happen this year..... that I really might be planning a wedding soon.... my mind then started to race with all the things I wanted to do..... like should I have a wedding in Iowa.... or should we just run off some where and get married.... it was strange, since I was here a year ago and had totally different feelings about the situation. It's a different kind of excitment.... more of a focusing on the actually marriage then the wedding. Maybe it's because we just got done with all the stress of my brother's wedding.... or because I know that the process won't be as smooth as I want it to be... or because I'm just in shock that Skinny is really thinking about it... now. So who knows... maybe in the next couple of months I will have to change my blog to " Wedding menu" or something..... I guess we will see.

Birthdays and Holiday Parties

So we are now full force into Jan. and I thought it would be slower. Well it is a little slower now. This past weekend, I had Joy-Joy birthday party and then Skinny's holiday party. The weekend started out good. Friday night I headed for Carlos O'Kelleys for some dinner with everyone.... it was nice to celebrate Joy-Joy's birthday... we always seem to have fun. So after the chips and salsa, some tacos and Spanish rice, we were off to the Jungle Room for a drink. When we got there.... I started to feel a little guilty... since Skinny wasn't there and I knew that he was sitting at the Fort, doing whatever.... thinking about me being out. Friday was the first time in almost a year that I have gone out, but myself to have a drink. Normally we have gone and done stuff...all non-alcoholic.... it was just strange sitting there thinking about what I would want to drink. When all I could think about is if I should be drinking at all. I have tried to be very supportive throughout this whole process with Skinny, since he can't drink, I feel that I shouldn't throw it in his face that I can. But then again he will have to deal with people drinking around him, if he is going to get on the right track and stay on it. Anyway, my guilt was short lived, since about a 1/2 an hour or so after I got to the bar, my stomach start to bother me. Then it got worse...so I headed home.....and proceeded to spend the rest of the night and early morning.... back and forth in to the bathroom....vomiting. I tried everything to make it stop... but it just kept coming. Finally at 8 am ( when I needed to get up) I was just about to fall asleep. But as luck would have it, I needed to get up, shower and pick up Skinny for the weekend. So I dragged myself into the shower.... which I thought would help..... but instead... made things worse... Have you ever gotten sick in the shower???? it is just plain gross. But I did manage to clean up and get ready for the day.... or at least somewhat ready to head for the Fort and Skinny. I picked him up and he was already to have breakfast, he could tell I was not in the best place... I told him what happened and that I was still not good. I was more than happy to take him to eat and just watch. We got to the diner and the smell... almost killed me, but after a trip or 2 to the bathroom... I was able to sit and drink my water.... and wait while Skinny ate. We were then off to the AA meeting, now normally I would just drop Skinny off and head home or do an errand or 2. Not Saturday... instead I parked the car in the lot and proceeded to sleep.... like a bum in the car, for a moment I thought what it might look like to a passer-by... but then really didn't care, since I was feeling so bad. After an hour or so nap, Skinny was back in the car and we were finally heading for home. Where I immediately changed into comfy clothes and headed for the couch with my blanket. I slept a good portion of the afternoon and were really feeling better. Which was a good thing since we had Skinny's Holiday party to go to, and I didn't want to feel bad there all night. I showered and got cleaned up for good this time, feeling like I could make it thru the night, or at least till 9:30 when we would be on our way home again. It was a good party, Skinny was a little worried that he would have a hard time since everyone would be drinking and he wouldn't be. Also no one really knows about what happened and the situation. But we were able to get through the night pretty easy, and we even got up and sang a little Keoroke. It was a really fun time.......in the end....I'm glad I was up for going. As we headed back to our place, both of us were pleasantly surprised how well things went. Now we really are having quite weekends ahead of us, which will be nice.... but than again there is something for being on the go all the time too. I guess we will see what the next week or so will bring. Since I say, it will be a quite weekend of nothing, then something always comes up.

It's a new Year!!!!!

December is finally over and everything is quieting down. I made it through everything. AB had a great wedding.... there were only a few bumps in the road.... but in the end it was fabulous. The new Year was relatively uneventful.... since Skinny was at the Fort and I was with the Cake guy. It's kind of hard to get thru the holidays knowing that Skinny is not with me. But as we keep saying it is only one year out of our lives and we will be better in the end. Plus.... he is getting out more and more. So now it's just during the week that we are not together.
I have a positive outlook on the new year. It's going to be a wonderful year.... I truly believe. I'm finally going to get my surgery, there will be 2 new babies in the spring/summer and Skinny will be back at home before we know it. I'm getting back on my workout kick..... things were just so crazy the last month or so.... it was hard to keep it going. But I need to lose a little more weight before my surgery.... so that when I all done I can maybe fit into my skinny jeans again. I know a lot of people make the "weight lose" resolution. But I have been working on it and I think that I'm ready to truly lose the weight and keep it off....not to mention the surgery will be a big boost. One of the other resolution is to not get stressed out over the little things... I have worried so much about everything with Skinny that sometimes I start to go crazy... but since it is really out of my hands, I need to let it go.... it will work out in the end... or it has so far.... I just need to keep those positive outlooks. My last resolution is to learn more at work. Last year I got a lot of new skills and even got promoted.... maybe this year I will do that again. The money can't hurt nor the expanding of my horizons.
Well I hope everyone is going into the year will a good outlook!