Back to Work!!!!

After 35 days Skinny is finally back to work..... 5 days in PCJ and 30 days in the Fort and he has been released to go back to work....and that is a big weight off my shoulders. Yesterday, I waited patiently for him to call me or email me from work, since he wouldn't be able to tell me before he got there. When I was at visiting hours on Sunday, all he could tell me was he would be taking his Phase 1 test in the morning sometime and if he passed it.... off to work he would go. So since I work from 6-3pm.... at around 9 am I started to check my email every few minutes.....then I made sure my cell phone was on vibrate.....I even checked my work phone to make sure it was working.... silly I know... but I was antsy for a sign. I tried to stay on task, but by 11 am when I didn't hear from him I started to think that Skinny hadn't passed his test and it would be another couple of days wait. Then on a whim I called his cell phone ( 1 of his co-workers had taken it to work for him) and it rang a bunch of time....like it was on... but Skinny didn't pick up....so I tried emailing him.... thinking maybe he was on the phone.... no answer there either. So I went back to waiting again..... then about 1:30pm... I finally got up the courage to call his work phone and guess what???...... he answered... it was the greatest feeling in the world to know he was back to normal life kind of...... we talked for a little bit and I found out his cell phone was completely dead and was charging next to him, while he had 753 emails to go thru from the last month or so...... which meant he couldn't send out or accept any other emails out right then. But at least now I knew he was there and he will now start getting money coming in to pay for stuff.... not to mention that he will now be able to get out for furloughs....which means we aren't stuck at the Fort talking any more. Granted I will still go out there for family nights, but now we can start getting back to some real normalcy in our lives.... well as much we can during this whole process. He said it himself, it is weird for him to be excited to go back to work, but in this situation, getting out to do anything in the real world is exciting..... and I would have to agree with him. Don't get me wrong I think that the treatment is a good thing, but I also think that getting back to real life stuff is good too..... so we will see how the next few months go.....as Skinny gets more and more freedom.

Waiting not so patiently!!!

As you know Skinny is working hard at the Fort and he is making great process, we are actually down to the final 5 days of "Phase 1" of the program. He has done a bunch of assignments, that don't make a lot of sense to me, but they seem to be helping him. So on Monday he gets to "test" to the next Phase, which means going back to work. I can't wait, for 1. then he can actually have money coming in again, so he can start paying for stuff, 2. once he works 30 hours a week he can start coming home for visits. Granted the first visit will only be for 12 hours, but something is better than nothing. I have been waiting for this time to come, I mean I have tried to be patient but it is just not working. I have clean the apartment for top to bottom, hung out with family and friends.... hey I even helped the mother the other night clean out her kitchen and walk in closet..just to keep my mind off Skinny. I'm running out of things to keep me busy. All I can think about it how much I want Skinny to come home for a visit and how much I miss just hanging out with him on the couch. I know I have made it this long and it really has only been a month as of today... .but still it seems like ages since we have been together. Granted I do see him every Wed., Fri. and Sat., but it is not the same. We have to sit in a room with other people and there is a camera in the room. So nothing more the hand holding can happen. It just sucks.... and the thought of having to wait at least another week or so is just killing me. But I know if I try not to focus on it, I will make the wait..... I just am not being so patient right now. I guess the roles could be revised... I could be in there... waiting to just get out....to go to work even....so I guess if I look at it that way... I have it much better off.
On a different note..... or front I should say... A.B. and Big L are getting settled in their life together.... well maybe not so much... I'm starting to think that A.B. really hasn't thought this whole baby/marriage thing thru.... for example... his car basically bow up last Friday and The Mother gave him her car...... now at first it was just a loaner till he found out what was wrong with the car but then once he found it would need a brand new engine..... she decided she would just give him the car...or should I say mini-van. She figured it would be good for him, with a baby on the way, plus he is graduating college in a couple of weeks and she was going to give him money for a down payment on a new car anyway. This just seemed like a better plan.... given the present situation. Well when she first offered the "deal" up to A.B. he said he had to think about it..... "think about it?".... give me a break... you are getting a free car.....why not take it? I mean I may not be the best person with money or anything.... but when they offered me a car... I TOOK IT!!! A.B. doesn't have 2 nickels to his name right now, so a free car is a good thing. I mean even Rands said if A.B. didn't want the van she would take it..... but after much thinking and the mother's guilt trip, A.B. is keeping the van. I just hope that he is starting to see that his life is going to forever change.... he does have 7 1/2 months to "get it together" but everyday it gets closer and this is the choice he made.... I just hope he doesn't regret it.

Some home cookin'.......

Like I old you in the past my sister can cook. I can make pretty cakes and cookie... or most dessert, she can COOK!! Last night was no exception, she made one of my most favorite things..... Roman noodle chicken with mashed potatoes, gravy and corn. It was like heaven on a plate. She first starts with some butter and garlic and heats it up....to pan fry the chicken in. Then she evenly coats eat piece of Fowl with flour, spices, egg and Raman noodles ( crushed of course)..... then into the pan it goes to "fry" up till the coating is lightly brown, the smell is unbelievable. I can still smell it and it is a day later. Then once the outside it cooked a little, into the oven it goes for the rest of the time. Now I have tried to make this dish a couple of times and it never comes out as good.... I really think it is just the way she does it.... even if I do follow it step by step. So once all the chicken is in the oven, she uses the pan drippings to make a think milk gravy... which goes over mashed potatoes... not just any mashed potatoes.... but ones made with sour cream and cheese...instead of milk and butter. I'm telling you... I think she should open a restaurant.....this meal is really price winning... granted it will put about 10 pounds on you... but it is all worth it.

Cleaning house!

Since I'm home alone for a while I figured it would be a good time to clean my place from top to bottom and side to side. So I start cleaning 2 weeks ago.....well more like I have been cleaning the last 2 weekends.... straight.
Let me just tell you to begin with, that when I moved into my place in 2000 I was living alone. So keeping the place clean was easy, since I didn't make that much of a mess. I then made the mistake of taken in a roommate....who was a guy and well things went down hill fast.... he wasn't as clean as I was and well......the cleaning thing just kind of fell to the wayside. Once he moved out, my brother moved in.... actually it happen on the same day.....weird huh?? Not so weird but that is a story for a different time. Moving forward..... My brother and I lived together for about 3 years and then he moved out, but by then I was dating Skinny and he soon moved in with me. So I really lost my cleaning urges then and eally became a packrat. My place was mostly clutter-y, and needs a good dusting and vacuuming. So once Skinny went away I decided I would clean house, I thought it would just take me a weekend, but once I started I knew it would be longer. So bright and early on Saturday morning I got up and started sorting papers, throwing out trash and organizing my living room, dining room and kitchen,plus the 2nd bedroom....by 6 pm, I was done, other then vacuuming but very tired. I wanted to keep going but my body had had enough for the day... so I ended up crashing on my couch for the night. But was up again the next morning, to finish the dusting and vacuuming. Once I had that done, I had a much better outlook on the whole project, even though I knew my biggest part was to come... my bedroom and walk in closet, not to mention the bathroom. But still I felt some accomplishment that I had gotten a lot of it done in the first weekend.
Now jump ahead to this past weekend. This time I start cleaning when I got off work on Friday night, mostly just starting to go thru different papers and "stuff" on my desk and dresser. I had to stop though, so I could visit Skinny for a bit, then back home to clean a little more, before I had to get some sleep. But once again I was up at 8 to start cleaning on Saturday, I started at 1 corner of the room and slowly worked my way thru everything. When I say everything.... I mean everything... I went thru every piece of clothing, paper, shoe, whatever. So by 4 pm with 10 bags of clothes and 2 bags of shoes ready for Good will, not to mention 4 bag of trash, my room was again restored to it's glory of 2000 when I first moved in. I needed a break for the night again, so I left the bathroom for Sunday.... since I knew it would only take me an hour or so. Just like I had planned I got up on Sunday and finished the job. My place is now totally clean, everything is in it's place, it is so clean you could eat off the floor.... It is a great feeling.... only one problem. I don't want to do anything in the place, for fear of messing it up. But my life seems so much cleaner and renewed.... isn't weird how throwing away old undies, socks and dried up pens, can make your life so much more carefree.

Soaps Vs. Reality

So I have always wondered how writers come up with story lines for soaps... now I know... here is a TV summary of the last week in my life.....

Last week on “As the World Tilts” the C.M.Mc.S Clan has hit another bump in the road….literally. Rands and the Beau are still deciding how to continue on their infertility journey, after trying different positions, thermomitors and counting days. They have finally started on fertility drugs, seeing a doctor and IVS. As they patiently wait for their test results, across town A.B. and Big L. are planning for their new child, it was an “opps” pregnancy but they are trying to make the best of it. Trying to decide whether to marry now, or wait till after the child is here is a top priority, not to mention, cleaning the disaster area they call a condo. Rands and the Beau are confused and disheartened by how someone can just get pregnant, while they are deserving parents and are still struggling. After telling The Mother and Howie, some of A.B.’s fears are over, but more questions now arise. The Mother has wanted to be a grandparent, but she is not sure she wants it this way. Should she be happy and tell her friends? Or will she keep it limited to the family right now? On the south side, Skinny and Rob sit in the corner of the OWI treatment center, discussing Skinny’s program and how they miss each other. Skinny’s concern now is how not to make the guards upset and qualify for work release. Skinny knows he will always be labeled a criminal, but as long as he has the support of Rob, her family and everyone else…. Thing will work out. It has been a long road since that fateful night in Feb. , but they know it will work out in the end. Clinging on to life in a hospital bed in Tucson, the Cake guy is preparing for open heart surgery while Aunt Psycho franticly calls everyone to warn them of the worst The Cake guy is still hoping he will come out of it fine, not have to make plans for his funeral……even if his sister is not so sure…...

Tune in next week to see……. if A.B. is really on his way to graduating college or will he have a nervous breakdown…… will the mother finally tell “the Fun “aunt her news….. or maybe Skinny will lie on his next assignment, so he can take his test for Phase 2. All will be revealed on……. AS THE WORLD TILTS……(out of control)

Soon to be inlaws.......well maybe not so soon

So with all the drama that has been going on with my life, I thought at least the Skinny issues were starting calm down..... that was until I got a call from his mother. You see she is a little uptight....for a couple of reasons. First Skinny is her only child, granted she has step children but they are older, so Skinny was really the only one at home. Next she just doesn't get the fact that maybe this kind of treatment is good for him. She is still blaming the lawyer for not getting him a better deal or doing more. I have told her that this is a good deal, if you look at it from the fact he is not going to prison, he will be out to go back to work in less than a month and will have the ability to come out and have furloughs.... this is a very good deal. But that is not the issue we are talking about.... I'm going to tell you what happened on Monday night when his mother called me.
Which is becoming a normal thing since Skinny can't get inbound calls right now and she knows I have all the information on what is going on. I don't mind people calling me, that is fine, what does bother me is the fact that she is now freaking out on me, cause Skinny is not calling him and telling him what is going on or how he is doing. Hence I now have been the go between. So this brings me back to the call on Monday.... she starts out asking how things are going with me and then dives into a bunch of questions about Skinny. I tell her that things are going good and he is going to be out for work soon, also he is getting our mail and I have visited him and he looks good. Then i drop the bomb, Skinny will probably be in there for 7-9 months. Now we first thought it would be for as little as 60 days and probably not more then 6 months. But once I found the information out, I was able to accept it. Now his mother on the other hand kind of freaked out. She starts on the whole holiday thing.... you see not only is she really big on Christmas, it is also her birthday. So it is a big thing....so I tried to easy her mind by saying that even thought Skinny would not be able to come to her home for the holidays, they could come to ours, since I'm sure he will be able to come home for just the day. She then goes into a whole thing on how everyone will be upset and how can they have a good Christmas..... so I tell her again "everyone can come to our house" She is just not getting it...and why is she worry about stuff that is over 2 months away.... Give me a break!!!! But then again this is the way she is... she worry about crappy that is way way off. I can only imagine what it will be like once we get married.

Spanish Night !

Since I haven't talked about Sunday dinners in a while I figured I would update you about last night. So the mother decided to make piaya, not sure if it was because she wanted to be creative or if she had veggies and chicken she wanted to get rid of. But in any case, she decided to make the Spanish dish. Now normally is has seafood, pork and chicken in it., but since she didn't have seafood or pork, chicken was the only meat that went into the dish. I should have known when I walked into the house that it would be an interesting meal. Since the mother had already half cooked the chicken and was making the rice...... but as she was doing it, she kept saying " I'm not sure this looks right, and the chicken is looking a little too white." But like most meals, I don't question, I just wait till it is on the table. Which by the mother's estimation, would be 1/2 an hour......since the chicken was mostly cooked and it was just the rice and veggies that need to be baked. 45 minutes later, the mother was still taking the baking dish out, checking the chicken, which was not cooking at all.....but the rice was starting to get over cooked. So she dumped a can of chicken soup to help the rice and back into the oven it went for a little bit longer. We starting eating our salads and 15 minutes later, the mother gets up again to check the main dish. Still the chicken in not cooked, well most of it is not cooked, so she digs it out and into the microwave it goes , for some fast cooking. She brings the mostly veggie and rice dish to the table and begins to dole it out to everyone. Rands and I get our plates and try to cut the meat, to our surprise it doesn't cut all that well. I figured it was just that it might have been over cook, so I take a bite.... and the chicken is flavored not of saffron and spice, but of FREEZER BURN. I turn to my right and Rands is trying to chew a bite also. We both spit it out on the plate... and say. " Sorry to tell you this Mom, but the chicken is NAS-TA, it taste gross and is way dried out." With that A.B. had to remove a bite from his mouth too. Which is extremely strange, since A.B. will eat just about anything. The mother then turned to Howie and said, " I thought the chicken looked a little freezer burned when I took it out to thaw, I guess we will have to check all the chicken in the freezer. Everyone throw out your chicken and we will just eat the rice and veggies. Good thing I made a big pan of apple crisp for dessert." The mother has only made a few bad meals in your history.... i guess this one will be added to the list. Thank goodness is wasn't as bad as the lemon-grass chicken. Now that was just plan awful!

Visiting hours....

So I have dropped stuff off for Skinny at the Fort and now have visited him there. When I went to drop stuff off I got a really good feeling about the place, but now that I have visited, I'm not sure what to think. I mean I know it is a good treatment facility but some of the people in there, are scary... not to mention the people that are coming to visit them.
On Wednesday night, I stood in line to get into visiting hours with everyone's family.... and it surprised me what a group was out there.....what didn't surprise me is the type of people that were there. It was a wide variety of parents, wives, significant others and children, most of whom were VERY BLUE COLLAR. I guess it is true that you don't see a lot of white collar people doing non-white collar crimes... or maybe they are mostly in private treatment facilities....you know. But I digress, as i stood there I just start to think about what it would be like to be in a place like this, yes you get to wear your own clothes, but they tell you when to get up, eat, study, go to different activities and even sleep. I'm not sure I could handle that kind of control... then again I don't drink and drive, nor am I in need of treatment. So finally they let us in to the building and we head for the common room, where Skinny and the other men are waiting for the visit. As I walked into the room I see Skinny and I swear he is one of 4 men in the whole group of 30, who has on a clean shirt on and looks like he has showered/shaved today. It was shocking how many men didn't clean up to see their families, But then again I think to myself... not everyone thinks outward appearance is important. When I sat down to talk to Skinny, he knew what I was thinking and said " most of the guys here tonight are older and the younger guys are more clean cut". At least that let my mind rest a little... the thought of him being around these people for 60 days or more scared me, cause I didn't want their ways rubbing off on him. But since I know him well, I'm sure he will come back just fine.
Since it was our ( Skinny and mine's) first week/first visitation, along with a few others, there was a quick orientation for 1/2 an hour and then an AL-NON meeting. Let me tell you that if I have to sit through another meeting with the person who ran the meeting, I will have to start drinking. She starts out with " let me tell you a little of my story", 35 minutes later she is still telling it..... I thought this meeting was to help the group, not listen to her story. Finally she let someone else speak for 2 minutes, then she went on another 10 minute lecture...with that the meeting was over,since we were out of time. Which was good for me, since then our really visit could start, the men came back in the room and we started our time together. It was weird talking to Skinny and trying to remember all the things that have happened in the last week and 1/2. Even though we had talked for a little bit each night, it seemed like we had so much to tell each other. Plus I wanted to see how he was doing... he seemed alright but as we started to talk, I could tell that he is having a hard time being away from me. We are both very dependent on each other, now we did prepare ourselves for this, but until you really are at the point where you have to be alone, it is hard to plan. I, at least have my family and friends I can see and talk to all the time. He on the other hand just has the phone and letters. But I'm sure once he gets more visiting priviledges and furlough, it will be easier. Finally when I had to leave at the end of our time, it was hard to go, all the emotions of seeing him leave in the court room, welled up in me. I had to fight back tears, till I got to the car. All I could think was, it will only be a few days till I can see him again. I just hope I can do better next time.
I guess we will have to see what tonight's visiting hours will bring.

Blindsided......

Since Skinny is away and I'm home alone, I have starting going over to my sister's house for dinner on Tuesdays. She is a great cook and the company helps too. But this week was different, you see my younger brother also comes to dinner. He actually has been going there for a couple of years now.....and well this Tuesday he came late... He has been going through so highs and lows with his current roommate and well this weekend it came to a head and he was really thinking about moving out. They had been frat brothers in college, lost touch for a while but then became friends again. So A.B. decided to move in with him about 2 years ago, it was great in the beginning but as the time has dragged on, they have had fights about everything. So on Sunday A.B. was really thinking it is time to move, but after talking to myself and sister decided he could tough it out for a few more months and make a decision. To add to the mix, A.B. has a new girlfriend of a little over 3 months and she is hot to have him move in, but as of Sunday he really didn't think he was ready for that.
Jump to Monday night, A.B. has a fight with his roommate and he calls The Beau to ask for help moving on Saturday to "the girlfriend's place." Now the Beau doesn't ask why or what happened,just that he needs help moving. So now the questions start to fill Rands ( my sister) head... "why is he moving?" " why moving to the girl friend's place?" " what is going on?" She would have to wait till the next night.
This brings us to Tuesday night, I arrived early and we start to talk, Rands tell me what happened the night before and we start to discuss what might have happened. We were not prepared for what we heard when A.B. walked in the door.
He came in, got a plate of food and sat down, took a deep breath and said " She's pregnant and that is why I'm moving in with her" Both Rands and I looked at each other in shock. I didn't know what to say, my head started to spin for a moment, then I went into big sister mode. I started asking him the normal questions, granted I'm not the one to be giving advice, but at least i can talk to him about it, try to help him think it through. Rands finally jumps in to help with some suggestions. Both of us are concerned for him and want to make sure this is what he wants to do and not that he is being pressured to do this. Since we have come from a divorced family, we know all to well what can happen. On top of it all, Rands and The Beau have been trying almost a year and 1/2 to have kids and it is just not working out for them. They are even starting fertility stuff. It is just ironic how things happen, you just never know when and where your world will turn upside down.
All I can say is with all the drama that has been going on in my life, I'm more then supportive with whatever decision he makes... I'm sure he will be a great father.

He's in the army now....

So Skinny is finally all settled in at the Fort for his treatment and things seem to be rolling along nicely. I was actually surprised how easy things have been for me to do. I have dealt with some state run treatment facilities and they are usually very tight lipped, not to mention very exclusive towards people who are just trying to help the people in the program. But with Skinny and his situation, it seems to be a lot different. For example on Friday I took him all his stuff... you know the recommended clothes, toiletries, cigarettes and various random items. I figured I would be able to drop the stuff off at the desk and then leave. But instead Skinny was waiting for me at the window, he was able to come OUTSIDE and help with the stuff, then as the staff of going through his stuff to make sure I didn't bring anything that was not allowed, I was able to talk to Skinny, even hand him money......the best part was they let me HUG AND KISS HIM. I was shocked.... but then I started to think about it, you know maybe each facility has there own rules,maybe the staff on duty was a little more relaxed on Friday.... as I walked out the door, I felt a lot more comfortable about Skinny's stay there.
So just like an normal guy, Skinny had forgotten a few things from his list and since I was out of town over the weekend, he called me on Sunday night to ask if I could bring the items the next day. So again I head over to the Fort, this time thinking, they really won't let me see him, since now he is in the program and it is not visiting hours. But I was wrong, once again he was waiting for me at the door, we were able to talk as they checked the stuff, again. We were even able to hug and kiss again. I really thought I was going crazy, this is not what i expected.... granted I was very happy about being able to talk and whatever with Skinny. Now I really started thinking that maybe the treatment facilities for men and women are different, or maybe it is just the staff and their thought process. Whatever it is, it makes me feel better and it makes our time apart that much easier on me, and I think easier on Skinny too. He has been able to see me 2x now, plus can call me every night. I know the treatment is intense so that little connection to the outside world, and his normal life everyday make being in there bearable.
The best part is still to come, you see because I have tried to find out as much as I could about the program and how it works, I actually got to talk to the head guy who runs it, and got myself on the visiting list for tonight. Normally they don't let patients have visitors this early, but since I'm considered family and I have been doing whatever needs to be done, they approved for me to come to family night tonight and Skinny gets to have visiting hours. I can't wait. But with the good comes the bad... you see I think Skinny's mother could be able to come too... but Skinny has not filled out the forms yet. So in turn she can't come tonight... even worse he has not called her yet....... but she has called me... so I have to be the middle man.... telling her what is going on and how Skinny looks....so on and so forth. But I did tell Skinny that he has to call his mom and tell her that she can't come right now...I will not relay that message for him. It is not fair to me.... and I don't want to look like to bad guy, or make her think that I'm the one who is not letting her visit. So I guess we will see what happens.
Still I'm glad he is in treatment, rather than what could have happened, he will be able to go back to work in 30 days, and get furloughs in a month or so, even if he has to keep sleeping there. We can still see each other a couple of times a week.