Mashed potatoes and Whipped cream

Another Sunday has come and gone.........which leaves me with another tale to rely to everyone.
Since I can remember my sister has been in love with 2 foods, mashed potatoes and Whipped Cream. I think she could make a meal out of the 2 if her stomach could handle it. At Thanksgiving time she USED to be the first one to get the mashed potatoes and gravy....but we soon learned that was a bad idea, since no one else would get any. The mother has even started making extras, so that Rands can fill her plate up with spuds and then drench them in turkey gravy...... but I digress......because this is a tale of personality.
Have you ever wondered if there are types of Mashed potato "eaters"??? Since my family likes them so much....I have narrow it down to 4 different types of "eaters".
First we have the "mixer"......this is someone who MIXES everything together.....an example would be my brother. He takes his meat and puts the potatoes on top of them and then gravy.... his thought process is that everything is going to the same place and will mix, so why not mix them on the plate. I think it looks like a plate of slop....but hey I don't eat them that way.
Next is the "Volcano"..... this is where you make a mound of potatoes, in the middle of the plate and make a small indent in the top, the gravy is poured in, but of course overflows on to the plate.......there by making it look like a volcano erupting over the plate. The gravy "lava" then will cover most everything in it's path. This is how my sister's plate looks most Thanksgivings.......even the thought of gravy touching my green jello, grosses me out..
"The Dam" as I like to call it...... is my personal favorite. This is a neatly placed mound of potatoes sitting on one side of the plate. Then you crave a hole......or rather hallow out a well in the middle of the mound and fill it with gravy. Now the gravy can only go to the top and not over.....then you eat the mound from the inside out....so no gravy leaks out.....It is also a good way to get equal amounts of gravy and potatoes. This way also ensures that the potatoes and gravy will not touch the other foods.
Last and surely not least we have the "au natural"...... which is just the potatoes no gravy...... it may seem to the naked eye as boring and plain.... but it is the only way my step dad will eat them.
The best part of this little observation, is that my mother also figured this out, so when she is serving us, she knows just how to fix the plate. I would say she is a genius.
Changing the subject a little.....or moving over to Whipped cream. Now in the same tone as the potatoes.......everyone has their own special way of eating it. I prefer to have a nice thin to medium layer of cream over all the item I'm eating it with.......where as my sister likes to have all whipped cream and a little of whatever. For example this Sunday....we had berries.....or should I say Rands had a pile of whipped cream with a few berries......She even tried to "steal" some whipped cream from her husband, she is addicted to it. We have tried all sorts of things from not letting her have an, to switching to Soy cream..... but she can't get enough of the stuff. One Sunday we even tried to have an intervention.....but it didn't work either. But I can tell you that she has been going to WCEA....(Whipped Cream Eaters Anonymous)
Like I have said before the people in my family are strange, but I do have a lot of interesting tales about them.

Popcorn can be a meal by itself

Normally the mother cooks on Sundays, but occasionally she would be "not in the mood", so then it becomes "make your own dinner night". Which means you can make whatever you want, and over the years we (meaning my siblings) have found some interesting combinations. For example, there was the time when my sister and I decided to make pizza rolls, cheese chips and dip. Now we got horrible stomach aches but hey it was good going down. Or there was the time my brother decided to eat a whole package of lunch meat, hard salami....to boot. Like I said before it was "make your dinner night" so the mother really didn't care what you had, as long as she didn't have to make it and we cleaned up the mess.
Now there is a little exception to this rule, that is the POPCORN. You see the mother loves popcorn, so that is what her dinner would be. We are not talking microwave but honest to god popcorn made in a pot with oil, then salted and covered in REAL butter.....it was and still is a heart attack waiting to happen. She would make the biggest tupperware bowl I have ever seen. Over the years she has upgraded from the old yellow pot that's from the 70's and has permanent popcorn flavoring embedded into the sides.... to a whirly pop, which is this contraption that you pour oil into then the popcorn, put the lid on and then you turn this handle that moves this metal spinner in the pot, and stir the popcorn. It is a great invention but did take the mother a few batches of blackened popcorn to get it just right.
Since we no longer live with my parents, the mother has not made popcorn for us in awhile....so this Sunday was a treat.....we actually didn't even eat dinner together this past weekend,instead we came over around 7:30, just in time to see the mother in front of the stove...and hear the popping. The house was filled with the familiar smells of the past.....my mouth started to water, as I thought of the crispy kernels covered in butter and salt. The big yellow bowl was sitting on the counter, half full..... I just had to have a piece......I reached in and grabbed a few and popped them into my mouth......but too my shock....no buttery flavor.....what has mom forgot something???? My shock slowly change to excitement as as she turned and poured the liquid sunshine on.
I could hardly wait till she was done. I went to get my glass for pop and ice.......then a stack of napkins, I knew it would only be minutes before I could dig into the fluffy goodness. Before I knew it, I had my blue bowl filled with corn and heading for the couch with my drink.
What could be better on a Sunday night, then popcorn and the sopranos?

The Italian Birthday

This past Sunday was my sister's birthday....you know Rands....she was 28... but more importantly.... the sixth season of the Sopranos started on Sunday.
Now normally in my family we go all out for birthdays......it has become a tradition that the birthday person gets to pick what they want to eat, which means my mother will cook, bring something in from your favorite place, or go out to eat. Only problem is this really doesn't apply to my sister's birthday... you see she was born in March...in the middle of tax season and since my parent's have an accounting firm, her birthday usually is lost in the mix. Or we like to joke that we move it to May.
Well as I said before this year was a little different, since we had 2 things to celebrate. Now that I think about it....we actually decided to make it a multi birthday....since the Empress's birthday was mid week, so we were going to celebrate hers too. So the planning started weeks ago...... my parents and my sister were on business trip till Saturday, so to make things a little easier on them, Rands decided that she wanted to order in food, not just any food but Italian....kind of make it a themed night. Next came the guest list.....now you know that we have a "normal" group of people that comes to dinner every Sunday. But there are 2 extras that come when we are celebrating something.....whether it be birthdays or holidays....or just a random....happy "whatever". They would be A1 and Joy-Joy(they are a married couple).....Joy-joy and I have been friends since we were in grade school and A1 is her husband so has been accepted as part of the group... they are like extra children, extended family or just the assumed extras that will be at special events. Hey my parents even treat them like their children..... I can remember one time when I was in financial trouble, my mother yelled at them to contribute more to their 401K. Also a little side note....A1's birthday is next week but they are going to be in Vegas, so the mother decided to celebrate his birthday too.....but I will I get to that later.
Alright so back to Sunday, now our group is 11 instead of the normal 9...which is great.... means more people to talk to...right? Yes....good. So like most Sundays everything was going smoothly. Dinner was ordered and picked, placed in the oven to keep warm......the table was sent in the dining room....we were set......well kind of. Since the Sopranos were starting at 8pm, we needed to have dinner, have time to open presents, eat cake and TALK...before getting our " assigned" seats in the den to watch the program. This means that we have to be at the table eating by 5:30........now there is the problem. 9 of us are sitting around the table, waiting patiently....alright not so patiently.... for 2 more people. Which I will take the blame for the lateness of the stragglers.... you see I emailed Joy-Joy earlier in the week, telling her to show up between 5:30 -6. Then the mother calls me on Sunday and tells to make sure I had told them 5:30 sharp....well in my own special thought processes.....I kind of forgot my email earlier in the week and just assumed they would be there at 5:30. My error.....now it is 5:31 we have 9 people sitting around the table,napkins in laps, water glasses filled.... drooling and getting hostile....think of the scene from " Oliver Twist" where they are in the orphanage waiting for the headmaster to give the"ok" to eat..... they have their spoons, eye balling his lips for the words..... get the picture???
So there we are sitting at the table....each minute is ticking by...and at 5:42....A1 and Joy-Joy walk in the door....to a lion's den.......you would think we had never eaten before..... but after a quick "hello" everyone....is now seated and we are on our way to devouring the meal. It's a frenzy of salad, bread, noodles, chicken and sauce...not to mention the noise level from all the conversation going on. You would think that you were on the floor of the WallStreet stock exchange..with all the that's going on. Howie and Mama Pearl are talking about the taxes. Skinny and The Beau are comparing notes on their NCAA tournament picks. Joy-Joy and A1 are giving updates on their jobs and remodeling woes. It's almost as if it is a normal Sunday and everyone has forgotten why we have converged on this night. But that quickly changes as the last bites are swallowed and The mother looks at her watch...7:13pm...and we haven't even started on presents.
The table is cleared in record speed and before you can blink, the cake is on display and presents are doled out. " Happy Birthday" is sung and the confusion begins......you see.....we couldn't just have cake and ice cream....no...that would be too easy. Instead we have 4 different kinds of ice cream and 2 different kinds of milk....God forbid that everyone eat the same ice cream or drink the same WHITE 2% milk. Rands is served first....cake with vanilla ice cream on the SIDE..... not on top.....and not touching the cake,along with a glass of AE milk. Next Joy-Joy..... cake with Neapolitan ice cream...on top on the cake.....in the middle of course. A1....cake with vanilla again, but can touch the cake, on the side....with a glass of Clover leaf Milk. One by one,we are all served our dessert.....specifically order and served by the mother. Everyone is quietly eating, slowly getting a sugar high. But time is quickly ticking away and we need to get to our spots for the show......it's 7:42 already.
Like a stampede of cattle.....everyone moves from the dinning room to clear the table again, the dishes are placed in the dishwasher, as garbage is taken out.........and there is a race to the den. Chairs are moved....pillows and blankets thrown to the floor.....furniture is positioned to get the best view possible.....The mother turns on the T.V., switches to 310-HBO..... just as the we hear "GET YOURSELF A GUN".... A hush goes over the room. We made it.
See you can have an Italian birthday and not even be from the "Old country"

Served with a side of clipping

So I thought I would give you an oldie but a goodie......

The mother has this cook book, well she has about a million cookbooks, from the red-n-white checkered one from Betty Crocker to the new Rachel Ray - 30 minute meals. But there is one in particular she likes to cook out of.....it's " 365 ways to make chicken". Most of the dishes are great, there is barbecue chicken, Chicken Marseilles, and my favorite...Chicken Jakarta....it's a little bit spicy and nutty, if you add the Brazilian rice as a side dish... you have a meal to die for...
But with the good you must have the bad....or should I say the barely edible recipes that someone decided to place in this cookbook. Which brings me to a tale of Sunday dinner.
It was a beautiful spring day, the windows are open around the house,the smell of blossoms are in the air, and it is time to figure out the menu. The mother and Rands are looking through recipes for the evening meal. As they flip thru the pages, nothing really sounds good. Maybe baked chicken...no...that's too plain. What about Greek Chicken?...no we had that last week.... Chicken tacos??.....nope...not in the mood for spicy food. Finally the mother comes to a recipe that sounds interesting....."Lemon-grass chicken"...... it sounds easy enough and season appropriate. Have the chicken already, lemon juice and lemons....got those too. Lemon-grass herb? will need to send Howie to the store for that, but no big deal. So an hour later with a $100.00 in grocery, they are ready to start making supper.
To begin the mother gets out tin foil..... now I'm thinking to myself....looks odd but hey she wants to make clean up easy.....kind of like in the commercials for Reynolds Wrap. Next she has A.B. light the grill, odd again but who am I to question the cook? Plus it is grilling weather. Then there was a process of placing, juicing, and seasoning the chicken, so it would be ready to cook. I actually made the mistake of looking at the foul before it was neatly wrapped into it's aluminum tomb.....it resembled a pink section of flesh that had been dropped onto a freshly cut lawn.... now I would have been alright with that if I was around a campfire in the middle of Yellowstone...but this was in my mother's kitchen....in the suburbs. Once again I held back my thoughts and figured, you don't cook so much, so wait till it is on the table....it might taste good.
Carefully the mother moves the neatly folded foil packets from the counter to the grill.....as everyone thinks," fun outdoorsy meal".......our excitement and joy quickly changed to confusion and worry, as the smells started to come from the grill..... it was a light smoked leaf smell.....something that I would have associated with a cool fall day... not coming from my parent's grill on a Sunday in April.
As the food cooks longer, everyone start to occupy themselves with other activies so we can forget what might be coming. But the time finally comes when we must sit down and eat.
The Mother opens all the packets at the table and we look on in disbelief......there are white mounds of meat, stained a color of green that is not natural. I turn to see who will be the first victim...I mean person......to put up their plate for a serving. Howie, the brave guy that he is....say " I will take some...how about that middle piece".... Rands gestures towards a small piece.... I cautiously take a random breast. The forks are then up and ready to dig in. I place a bite in my mouth and start to chew........the texture is gritty and stringy.....as my tastebuds are introduced to the flavor of GRASS....I mean we are talking about what it would taste like if you went out to the lawnmower and got a big handful of clipping and put them in your mouth.... I wanted to spit it out on my plate but I was afraid I won't get it all out. So I did the next best thing.....plugged my nose and chewed like I have never chewed before......Swallowed the awful tasting lump of food and followed it wtih a WHOLE glass of water. I then began to look around the room and my family was having similar reactions as well. Even my mother had a weird look on her face....and she replied " now this is an interesting flavor." Interesting flavor??? how about I know what it is like to be a rabbit or a cow.... and I'm wondering how they can stand to only eat grass all their lives. I guess they don't realize there are a million things that taste better.
A.B., who will eat just about anything.......kind of like Mickey...finally says " I don't think I can eat this". We are talking about a boy who has eaten everything my mother has made and never said it was bad, he would rather choke it down, then hurt her feelings. But he was the one who broke the silence.....which in turn allowed my step father to say " this is not one of your best meals dear." He even tried to scrape off the "lemon-grass" and cover the chicken with ketchup...but the flavor still remained in the food.Now I have been eating my mother cooking for 30 some odd years and I can remember a lot of good, great and even outstanding meals, but I have never had a meal, made by my mother where EVERYONE, including the cook thought it was bad. Now that I think about it, I don't think I have had a bad meal since.
So the moral to this Sunday dinner.... if you see the word "GRASS" in the title of your food item, even if it is proceeded by "lemon", do not order it, or think about ordering it.......unless you are a goat....and enjoy lawn clipping.

The first supper

Alright....so this is my first blog.....I really didn't even know what a blog was..... Thought maybe it was a way for someone to bitch about someone else anonymously. But my sister told me it would be a way for me to share the world of Sunday dinners with the universe.....so here goes...

To begin I should really explain how the ritual started. I'm not sure if it was when I went away to college or when my younger sister did...but on one Sunday in the fall, many years ago my mother decided that Sunday dinner was a great time for us to get together as a family, to catch up on the weekly happenings, gossips, inside jokes and other chit chat, in our lives. In the beginning I was really having a hard time making it over to my parent's house EVERY Sunday. But as time has gone by, I have learned a lot from my eating experiences there, plus have a ton of great stories. I mean were else are you going to learn what a "C" meal is or find out that"lemon-grass chicken" tastes more like grass then lemon chicken.

So let me introduce you to the normal group, which has grown over the years from 5 to 9 as more "regulars" have come into the picture....Here are the"eaters" that frequent the "parentals" as we like to call it......( the name have been changed to protect the innocent)

1. ME - or otherwise Know as the "oldest"
2. The mother...... or as she looks at it the chef, cleanup crew and general mensch of the bunch
3. HOWIE - my step father
4. Rands - my sister
5. The Beau - my sister's husband
6. The Pearl girls, or mama Pearl and the Empress
7. A.B. - my lovable brother
8. Skinny - otherwise Known as my live-in boyfriend

Now there are always strays coming by for random meals but we will get to them later. For right now the 9 of us are the ones who eat everything from spaghetti to meat loaf to ribs and tacos, every Sunday.
So if you would like to hear more, look for my next installment